if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
