you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
