i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
