Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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