I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
