I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
