...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
