he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize