Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize