I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
