How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
