first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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