ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
