whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Hippo gnu deer
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
