So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
