i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
