I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
