..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dicks are not precious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize