I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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