Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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