She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
