She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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