It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Everyone says I win the strip club
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals