we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.