if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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