I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
