she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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