It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
