why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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