Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dicks are not precious.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
