Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
