tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
only if we run a train.
done.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
