Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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