It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
