I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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