My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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