bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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