oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
