Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Your cock deserves a montage
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
