it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Please don't give away my fajitas
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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