Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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