Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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