franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
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I can't turn off my feet"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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