so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
