? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
