if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
