If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
