so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
