1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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