I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
