nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
