He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
