just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
