Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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