I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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