I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
