I wanna passion pit in your ass
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
