Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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