i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize