I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize